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Thursday, December 29, 2016

Fairies and the Dead - An Excerpt from my W.I.P

The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming book 'Fairies: A Guidebook to the Good People'


Fairies and the Dead

The relationship and connection between the fairies and the dead is a complex one, and likely always has been. The human dead aren't fairies, except when they are. Fairies aren't the human dead, except when they might be. The places of the dead belong to the dead, except when those places are fairy mounds, like the neolithic tumuli. Even the Slua Si, whose name means 'fairy host', are sometimes said to consists of the spirits of human dead, as in some cases does the Wild Hunt, making it hard to draw any clear lines between the groups. In a very general sense we can say that human ghosts are not the same as fairies, but fairies can include people who were once human. The key difference may be, as we shall see, how exactly the human came to join the Fey.

Kildare, Ireland

There is some old Celtic belief, recorded by the Greeks and Romans, which hints at the idea of rebirth or reincarnation, that a person born in our world was dying in the Other World and a person who died in this world was born in the Other World. This idea, perhaps, explains the reason that fairies who wed mortal men were known to cry at births and laugh at funerals. It may also explain in some way why the Irish name for the Other World, an Saol Eile, literally means 'the Other Life'. It is not just another world in the sense of being a place, but it is also another life, another type of existence.

There is some suggestion that the initial depiction around the 16th century of fairies as small beings was actually related to the connection between fairies and the dead and the belief that human souls were small in appearance when separated from the physical body (Briggs, 1976). In turn this idea may reflects a related idea, that the soul was separate from the body and could leave it at times, either temporarily or permanently. We see this in the folktales were a person is taken by the fairies but their dead body is left behind and in anecdotes where a person goes into a trancelike state while their spirit is off with the fairies. The idea that the soul can be separated from the body and once separate has a reality and substance that can even be injured is an old one seen in multiple sources (Walsh, 2002). It may be difficult for us to grasp the idea of a soul as a tangible, physical thing when our modern culture tends to prefer the idea of souls as insubstantial and ephemeral but it’s clear that the older belief gave the soul substance.



Fairy tree with rags in a cemetery, Boa Island, Ireland

Another level of entanglement is more straightforward, that is sometimes the Fairies are known to take people to join them and often these people were thought to have died. In a wide array of folklore from Ireland and Wales we see stories where a young woman is thought to die and is buried, only to be seen later among the fairies in one context or another. In at least one story it was a young man who died and was buried, only to have a fairy doctor tell his family that he was among the Other Crowd; when they attempted to retrieve him he appeared and begged to be allowed to stay with the people of the sidhe (Briggs, 1976). The Scottish witch Alison Pearson claimed a dead relative was among the fairies and that it was he who acted as her familiar spirit with them (Wilby, 2005). Getting back to the earlier point about the soul as a tangible presence we must understand that these are people with presence and physicality who were interacted with and who are clearly counted among the ranks of the fairy people.

In the book ‘Fairy Faith in Celtic Countries’ several anecdotes are related that connect the Good People directly to the dead, in both the sense of describing some fairies as being humans who have died as well as saying some of them are people who were taken and thought to have died. One person related a story about a woman who died and shortly after, before the body had been buried, her husband was visited by one of the Good People who told him she wasn’t dead but taken by the fairies; the husband then waited by the body with the door open and his wife came in to see her infant at which time he grabbed her (Evans-Wentz, 1911). After being restrained and struck with a charm he had prepared the wife returned to her body, as the story was related, which revived and she went on to live a long mortal life (Evans-Wentz, 1911). In another tale with a less pleasant ending a bride died at her wedding, only to appear to her new husband later and tell him that she was actually among the fairies and that if he went to a certain place he would see her passing by and could save her (Evans-Wentz, 1911). The husband went as she’d told him to but when he saw his bride among the fairies passing by he found himself paralyzed and unable to move to grab her; he never saw her again after that, but refused to re-marry (Evans-Wentz, 1911). The people interviewed in that section of the book, who were relating the beliefs of different areas of Ireland around the turn of the 20th century, also made it clear that there were fairies who were never human and had never been human, assigning them origins among the Fir Bolg and Tuatha De Danann, as well as saying they were fallen angels. There were also those among the human dead who could and did return as ghosts or other types of undead spirits that were not considered fairies.


The entrance to Newgrange, sometimes called Bru na Si, known as a fairy mound, home of the Gods, and a neolithic burial place



The subject of the fairies and the dead is not a simple one, but it is clear that the two groups are intertwined. There are those beings who were never human spirits and those human spirits who are not and will not be fairies. But there are also those who were once human and are now fairies because the fairies themselves added the human to their ranks. The different layers of belief make it apparent that while there was crossover between fairies and the dead there was also distinction and separation of the two groups in other ways. If one could imagine it as a Venn diagram we would see fairies as one circle, the human dead as another, and the area where the two circles overlapped – how small or large that is no one can say for certain – would represent those who fall into both groups.



References:
Briggs, K., (1976) A Dictionary of Fairies
Evans-Wentz, W., (1911). The Fairy Faith in Celtic Countries
Wilby, E., (2005) Cunningfolk and Familiar Spirits
Walsh, B., (2002) The Secret Commonwealth and the Fairy Belief Complex


All text and images copyright Morgan Daimler

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Ireland: Seeing the Stories

The idea behind today's blog is pretty straightforward - its a collection of pictures of different sites in Ireland from my recent trip along with some related lore, history, myth, or personal stories. I had been sharing these in snippets on social media and decided to collect them all into one place here and share them with a wider audience.


Display at the Bru na Bionne Visitor Centre, "Stone Balls"




"He was eating a piece of cheese. He did not then tarry to seek a stone. He put the piece [of cheese] in the sling. When Medb's forehead was [turned] towards them, he let fly the piece [of cheese] and it struck her on the crown of the head so that he killed her by the one cast in vengeance of his mother.
That is the death of Medb."
- Aided Meidbe

At the Bru na Boinne centre we saw some examples of stone balls, which got me talking to several people on the Sacred Sites tour about sling stones and ended with me re-telling the story of Medb's death via hard-cheese-sling-stone. Because I think people fail to grasp often how large and weighty sling stones actually were/are. It was really fascinating to be able to see the archaeological examples of the stones knowing how often they feature in the mythology, from Lugh to Cu Chulainn.

Image of the river Boyne



The Boyne is named for the Goddess the Bóinn, mother of Oengus mac ind Og.
A powerful Goddess, she is often referred to in mythology as 'the Boann' or 'the Boand' (modern Irish Bóinn) with the definite article 'the' used before her name in many stories just like we see with the Dagda or the Morrigan. She created the river by going to her husband's well, the well of Segais which held all wisdom, without permission and without dryness [cen tarta] to entreat its power [airigud a chumachta]. The water of the well rose up against her in waves and tore her apart as she ran to the sea, creating the riverbed behind her.
Her name likely means White Cow or Bright/Blessed Cow, from Bó Fhind

The Mounds at Knowth



Knowth is a really amazing site and one of my favorites that we visited. Consisting of 19 total mounds, 1 'great' mound and 18 smaller ones, Knowth was constructed about 5,000 years ago as a series of passage tombs. The great mound has two entrances to tombs, one on the eastern side one on the west. The smaller mounds were also tombs, and there is evidence of wooden henges on the site as well and tempe structures. Over the millenia Knowth has been used for a variety of purposes by the local people, starting as a passage tomb and later having homes built on top of the great mound, which offers a fantastic view of the surrounding land (and was insanely windy btw the day we were up there; I was sure if I let go of my phone it would end up in another county). The curbstones at Knowth are intricately decorated and the entire place has a more genuine feel imo than Newgrange which has been heavily modified by reconstruction attempts.


Newgrange




I really didn't feel much connection to Newgrange at all. It was by far my least favorite of all the passage tombs we visited, although when we were wandering the grounds I did find an amazing tree with some intense energy that I made a small offering at.
Newgrange is about 5200 years old - older than the Egyptian pyramids - and is aligned with the winter solstice. The inner chamber is a cruciform tomb with some beautiful decorated stones. The mound itself had been sealed at some point and heavily overgrown until the turn of the 18th century (1699) when the entrance was accidently discovered by laborers digging for stone. The ensuing centuries saw attempts at study and understanding of the location. In the 20th century the site was heavily reconstructed, including the placement of the white quartz on the face, giving us the monument as we know it today.


An image of the River Unshin



"The Dagda had a house at Glenn Etin in the north. The Dagda was to meet a woman on a day, yearly, about Samain of the battle at Glen Etin. The Unish of Connacht calls by the south. The woman was at the Unish of Corand washing her genitals, one of her two feet by Allod Echae, that is Echumech, by water at the south, her other by Loscondoib, by water at the north. Nine plaits of hair undone upon her head. The Dagda speaks to her and they make a union. Laying down of the married couple was the name of that place from then. She is the Morrigan, the woman mentioned particularly here."
- Cath Maige Tuired

The river Unshin, where it's said, at a ford of this river near Samhain time, the Dagda had a yearly arrangement to meet the Morrigan. He found her straddling the water washing herself with her hair unbound from 9 plaits and the two united. Afterwards the place was called 'Lige ina Lanomhnou' which means roughly 'Bed of the Married Couple'. she then gave him advice on dealing with the coming battle with the Fomorians and promised to use her magic to destroy the Fomorian king Indech.


Heapstown Cairn


Heapstown Cairn is a large, unexcavated cairn believed to be a passage tomb. It was once much larger but has lost an unknown amount of material over time to people taking stones for construction of walls and such. Nonetheless it is still a large sprawling mound - the largest existing cairn in Ireland - and it is quite impressive to see.
Heapstown is located to the west of Magh Tuired and in mythology it was the site of the well of Slaine which was filled with stones by the Fomorians during the second battle of Maige Tuired. Some people have come to associate this location with Airmed because of the mythology; personally I felt a strong presence of the aos sidhe here as did several other people on the tour.


Ceathrú Chaol, cairn G



The Ceathrú Chaol [Carrowkeel] passage tombs are a series of 14 cairns clustered on the hills of the Breac Sliabh mountain range. Cairn G was excavated in 1911 and is unique in that it is the only passage tomb known, other than Newgrange, to feature a roofbox, and the cairn is aligned to the midsummer solstice, according to the Megalithic Ireland website. The inside of the cairn, which can be easily accessed, features an open central chamber and three small side chambers.
The group I was with walked up to the cairns and I chose to go into cairn G. Several other people did as well and then later left to go explore other cairns but I stayed in this one. I would probably still be in this one if I had a choice about it.


The Janus Stone, Boa Island


In Caldragh Cemetery on Boa Island we went to see two stone carvings, both of which had been moved there at some point from other location. The larger figure is called the Janus Stone because it carved on each side; one side is male the other female. The smaller figure I found out later is called "the Lustyman" although it may be a female figure. The name seems to be because it was original located on Lusty More Island. Both figures appear to have become the focus of some form of offering as they had coins on them in piles, although I could not begin to guess what the intent with the coins was. The cemetery itself is extremely old and impossible to navigate without walking on graves, and as well is still in contemporary use so the energy is interesting. There was also a Fairy Thorn at the back of the cemetery area, within the fence.


Rathcroghan Mound


Once the site of an immense royal complex the Rathcroghan - Ráth Cruachan - mound is still impressive. The mound itself was once the royal seat of Connacht and is where it is said that Medb herself ruled from. It is surrounded by other significant sites including Uaimh na gCat, Medb's grave, and the place where the two bulls from the Tain Bó Cuiliagne fought, reinforcing its significance. The mound itself is immense and one can easily imagine the wooden palisades and buildings. Although it has never been excavated the way other sites have been it is clearly of great historic value. The mound itself has a curving eastern entrance and another western one, and standing on top of the structure provides a magnificent view of the countryside. Pictures really don't do the beauty of the Rathcroghan mound justice, this is one of those places you need to see for yourself.


Uaimh na gCat


Uaimh na gCat, the Cave of Cats, the Cave of the Morrigan. Also called "Ireland's Hellmouth" by some. To me, after going in and coming back out again, it will always be the Sí of Cruachan but that's another story. As we arrived I saw a rainbow in the sky and then we had a little black kitten gamboling around the entrance, which was surely a good sign at the Cave of Cats, right?
The cave itself, deep down and a slippery climb into the earth to reach, is a natural feature but the entrance is a man made souterrain which makes for an odd contrast of experience going in and coming out. You ease into the earth, reaching up to touch the Ogham carved on the lintel, and the first dozen feet in is all hard lines and sharp edges - it feels man made. It feels carved. And then that transition point and you leave behind the hand of man and move into the sections made by nature, and it just feels different. Smoother, even where its jagged. Everything here is all wet clay that sucks and clings, as if the cave means to keep you. And maybe it does. But you go anyway, into the darkness that only the deep earth can have, where sunlight has never even been a dream. And maybe you understand why people describe caves as wombs, or maybe you understand why darkness drives some people mad or terrifies them, or maybe down there you find Herself waiting.
And that's the cave.


Navan Centre & Fort


Novemeber 1st - still Samhain - went to Emhain Macha and visited an Iron Age village at the Navan Centre & Fort. The village is like a small version of Sturbridge Village or Williamsburg where the actors stay in character and the day we visited they had a special event 'A Death in the Celtic Clan'. It was really fun, but I had to be on my best behaviour as they kept talking about the Good Folk and the temptation to troll the poor actors was kind of epic - ie actor asks 'where are you from?' nice person says 'America' I'm wanting to say 'the Sí of Tlachtga where we celebrated last night', and so on3. I basically sat there covering my mouth and smothering giggles the whole time.
Inside the reconstructed roundhouse was really neat - the whole floor was covered in furs! - but wow so much iron. Also their story teller told a really neat version of the tale of Fionn and Sadb, where Sadb was turned into a deer by 'Fer Dub' [dark man] who wasn't a Druid she'd refused to marry as I'd always heard the tale but was a man of the Sí in this version sent to take her for the Unseelie Court

Dumha na nGiall



"It was then that Badb and Macha and Morrigan went to the Knoll of the Taking of the Hostages, and to the Hill of Summoning of Hosts at Tara, and sent forth magic showers of sorcery and compact clouds of mist and a furious rain of fire, with a downpour of red blood from the air on the warriors’ heads; and they allowed the Fir Bolg neither rest nor stay for three days and nights."
- Cet-Chath Maige tuired

Dumha na nGiall [mound of hostages] is a 5,000 year old passage tomb at Teamhair [Tara] at the edge of the section known as Raith na Ríg [fort of kings]. The mound is built in the same way as most other passage tombs and includes some beautiful, intricate carving of the stones at the entrance. The entrance itself was blocked with a heavy iron grate, and much to my deep dismay the visible interior was cluttered with rubbish. Seeing a place that was actively used for burials for a thousand years and which has up to 500 cremated remains in it used as a modern rubbish bin for tourists makes me beyond angry and as much as I hate seeing the entrance blocked I wish they had something solid there.
I'll add here that our group went around cleaning up all the sites we went to, picking up litter, cigarette butts, and clearing trees of ties that would have hurt them. Part of me was really happy and proud that we were doing this. Part of me was really furious that we had to.
If you are a tourist and you don't want to clean up other people's trash, at least try not to treat someone else's sacred site like your rubbish bin please.

Cloch an Fhir Mhóir



"And there [Cu Chulainn] drank his drink, and washed himself, and came forth to die, calling on his foes to come to meet him.
Now a great mearing went westwards from the loch and his eye lit upon it, and he went to a pillar-stone which is in the plain, and he put his breast-girdle round it that he might not die seated nor lying down, but that he might die standing up."
- Aided Conculaind

It was sunset as we walked across the fallow field to the standing stone which folklore and local tradition says was the place that Cu Chulain had died at. There was something very evocative about the stone jutting up from the empty field and as our group gathered around it, some people reaching out to touch the stone, I retold the story of Cu Chulain's Death starting with the Morrigan breaking his chariot. It is a good story I think, and a complex one, and as we stood in the gathering darkness as the light faded there was something powerful in telling about Cu Chulainn's final battle. We could look around and imagine the gathered army, see the chariot wheeling around, the trick of the satirists and false combatants, Laeg's death, the mortal wounding of the Liath Macha, and finally Cu Chulainn's wounding and effort to tie himself to the stone. People laughed in a grim appreciation of the irony as the hero's dead hand fell and cut off the hand of the enemy seeking to take his head and faces fell still at the part where the wounded Liath Macha went and brought Cu Chulainn's friends back to this very spot, too late to save him.
The entire experience was more moving than I expected it to be, honestly, as someone who isn't really very interested in Cu.

the Hag's Chair, at Cairn T, Sliabh na Caillíghe



Cairn T is aligned to the equinox, like the more famous Loughcrew cairn L Samhain alignment. The Cairn is barred and locked but it is possible to get the key, which we did. The inside of the main cairn is beautifully decorated, although we cleaned up a bit of litter while we were there (seriously people? lollipop sticks, wrappers, and cigarette butts?). At the outside rear of the cairn is the stone known as the Hag's Chair. The entire location is strongly associated with the Cailleach, and its said that the site was created when she was leaping from hilltop to hilltop and dropped teh stones from her apron. Folklore says that a person may sit in the chair and make a wish and the Cailleach will grant it. It didn't feel right for me to do so, so I did not when I was there. I'm a big one for trusting my gut with these things, which gets me into another point I'd like to make. Someone had left a significant amount of what looked like oatmeal on the stone which we cleaned off, as it was attracting birds and while the idea of the offering was probably really nice the resulting bird poop covering a stone people were supposed to sit on was less so. We moved it to a better location. I don't usually disturb other people's offerings but in this case I made an exception, and I'd encourage people in general to give some thought before they make offerings to A. what they offering and whether it's suitable to the area and wildlife and B. whether that's the best place to leave it. also don't leave things that aren't biodegradable or might cause issues in the future with study of the site.
The area around the main cairn includes several smaller cairns that have been opened and I was very drawn to one of those in particular. It also had some carving left on at least one of the inner stones, although it was greatly weathered. The entire site was amazing, and I would like to go back at some point.


I have more pictures, and more stories - I didn't even get into Kidlare or Dublin here! - but I think this is getting long and that's a good way to end. I hope you enjoyed this, as it was definitely a different blog today.


Copyright text and all images Morgan Daimler 2016

Friday, December 9, 2016

7 Snarky But Serious Tips for Dealing with Fairies

Inspired by the always awesome Seo Helrune blog and today's 'Eight Sarcastic But Serious Tips for Necromancy'. I give you 7 snarky but Serious Tips for Dealing with Fairies



Since fairies are pretty trendy right now and people are paying mad money to become a certified Fairyologist - or Fairy Doctor, or Fairyist, or whatever today's popular term is - I thought I'd save everyone some money and offer this free down and dirty guide to fairy work. Think of it like the Cliff Notes version to years of actual experience, study, and effort.

Why Work with Fairies? - You like to live dangerously, right? Not afraid to risk some maiming or madness or inconvenient death? Good. There are advantages to trucking with uncanny things of course or no one would do it, but I just wanted to get that bit out of the way right out of the gate. Now that we've established that you have a healthy disregard for your own sanity and safety I'll point out that those who successfully navigate dealing with the Fair Folk are usually rewarded with knowledge, luck and health. And rumor has it wealth. So there are benefits to establishing a good relationship with Otherworldly beings, and those benefits can be very valuable and even tangible. Of course you aren't allowed to talk about any of that, so should you manage to score some super secret fairy bennies just remember to keep your mouth shut about it, or, well I already mentioned the maiming and madness part right? Another benefit of working with fairies is that odds are good you'll either be given or learn to make elfshot, and who doesn't want to have an invisible means of getting even with your enemies? None of this is free, of course, but don't let little details like that bother you.

Convenience - The great thing about fairy work is that pretty much every culture has fairies, by one name or another, and so no matter where you are you'll be able to find Otherworldly spirits. A smart person would do some research and look into local folklore and stories, but if you really do like to live dangerously just jump right in and see what happens. Best case scenario it'll be fine. Worst case scenario, well, reincarnation is a thing right? Or you could do the research. Dealer's choice.

So, let's get to it then. Here's some tips.

1. Start Small - no pun intended on this one, but if you want to deal with the Fey going right to the ones most likely to eat you for dinner or to turn you into something unnatural probably isn't the best idea. Start small. Like really small. I mean, sure, in stories people like the Brahan Seer or Turlough O'Carolan slept on a fairy mound and were rewarded with amazing abilities, but there's also all those jerks who tried the same thing and went mad for the effort. The thing about fairies is that some can and will help you and bless you in awesome ways - and some can and will torment you and laugh while they do it. Also some think you are a mighty yummy appetizer. So if you begin with something like your house spirit who is already inclined to like you and build a relationship there, you can get the practice in before you move on to bigger things. Although keep in mind your house spirit can also seriously jack you up, so don't slack off just because I said it was a good place to start. Also keep in mind I'm saying 'start' not end - the idea is to slowly build up a network of friends and allies in the Otherworld. Just don't aim above your means right out of the gate.

2. Bribe Them - some people are really against the whole concept of bribing spirits. I suspect these people don't deal with many spirits. Remember how I mentioned that nothing is free? Yeah, funny thing about that is if you don't offer something in payment up front sometimes they'll decide to set the price themselves later on. You do not want this. No one wants this. Being in unspecified debt to a member of fairy is kind of like owing a favor to the mob so you are much better off to go into any dealings with Them paying upfront. I recommend butter or cream, but I'm a bit of a traditionalist. I'd avoid offering blood - your own anyway - or anything else with heavy metaphysical implications for you.

3. Negotiate - Speaking of payments you may find yourself in a situation where you are being offered something you really, really need in exchange for something else. Like your firstborn - what you thought Rumplestilskin invented that idea? Fairies taking babies is an old practice and its a lot easier if one of the parents gives them up willingly. Not all changelings were stolen, some were bargained away, and if you think I'm kidding then please, please, don't try to deal with fairies. No, really. Don't. They may ask for something else but whatever it is you should be asking yourself why they want it and whether you really want to give it up. I mean a soul seems pretty inconsequential until you don't have yours anymore. So don't be afraid to negotiate or even to say no. Sometimes it's just not worth it. Did I mention the butter and cream?



4. Manners are a Thing -  Seriously though, if you want to deal safely with the Good People then you better say 'please' and 'May I?' like you are visiting your Grandmother. And not the nice one who bakes you cookies but the strict one who doesn't let anyone slouch and has plastic on the furniture so you rotten kids won't get it dirty. Although there is a prohibition against saying 'thank you' which many people I know agree is best to follow; say something else instead which isn't 'thanks'. Why no thank you? Some people say it is dismissive, while others say that it is an admission of a debt - see point #2 for why that's bad if you've already forgotten. The key here is be on your best behavior, be polite, and remember that you aren't the one with the actual power here. Which is why you are dealing with them in the first place right?

5. Keep It Clean - I don't know if cleanliness really is next to godliness or not but I do know that the Fair Folk detest filth. You want to know a really good way to ensure that the Good People will be against you? Pee on land that is theirs. True story. A traditional method to keep them out of your home involved dirty water, and it was an old practice to always yell 'Beware' before tossing dirty water out a door or window after cleaning, because you did not want to hit a fairy with that water, should one be passing by. So if you want to work with fairies keep it clean.

6. Don't be an Ass - I suppose I could have put this under #4 but honestly its such a big issue it deserves its own bullet point. I don't know why people labor under this delusion that getting a huge attitude and treating the Good Neighbors like you are some spoiled prima donna and they are your lowly intern is a thing, but it does seem to be a thing so here we are. I have seen popular pagan authors suggesting people make their own fairy* or command fairies to certain tasks and that is just a jerk thing to do. Fairies are independent, sentient beings. Would you walk up to a stranger in the street and start bossing them around? Unless the fairy starts it first and you are being a jerk in defense of yourself or similar, just don't go there. You go there and so will they and that is not a contest you want to get into unless you are 100% confident you will win - and they have a lot more experience at it. Also way more viciousness. So for the love of all that's green and growing don't be an ass unless and until you have to.

7. Speaking of Asses Always Cover Yours - The best laid plans still go sideways so always have a worst case scenario plan in mind. Know what protections work against which fairies - because there is no one size fits all - and know when to bluff and when to run. Have an escape plan behind your back-up plan. And know exactly how far you are willing to go and what you are willing to do. I mean when it comes down to it would you kill something? Would you maim something? Remember tip #6? Well I mentioned don't be a jerk unless you have to but understand if you have to go there you have to go all the way there. You can't half-ass your jerk attitude with the fairies when that attitude is required by a situation. Which by the way is exactly why you don't want to lead off with it, because if you are going full-ass jerk then you'll be wearing iron jewelry and lighting up St. John's Wort and sulfur every day for a loooooong time. This is also why tip #1 is to start small and build up relationships, because if the shit hits the fan you'll need those allies.

So there you go.
Good luck. You'll need it.

*in fairness while they called it a fairy they were actually talking about making a thoughtform or golem. But still the principle of creating your own fairy servant is pretty offensive so here we are.